When thinking about the topic of this article, the first thing I thought of-for some unknown, crazy reason-was that now-infamous interview Hall-Of-Fame quarterback Joe Namath did with Suzy Kolber during an NFL game several years ago.
Clearly drunk, or make that “plastered”, Broadway Joe had begun the interview by commenting on New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington’s performance.
But in response to Ms. Kolber’s follow-up question, he busted out with “I want to kiss you”. Interestingly, Suzy handled the brouhaha with aplomb…even appearing to get somewhat of a kick out of it.
Now, shortly after this crazy moment happened before millions on live television, Namath solemnly apologized for his actions on ESPN. Of course.
Here’s the thing, though. The alcohol involved here probably only served to unleash his inhibitions relative to saying such a thing on national television, and at a particularly…um…inopportune moment.
Actually SAYING IT, though, was purely his nature.
Anyone who is familiar with Joe Namath’s style knew deep down he probably just being himself. After all, he has been running this type of “direct game” with women off-camera for over 45 years.
The guy has been known for having TONS of women around since LONG before he was ever the hero of Super Bowl III.
So what can you learn from a drunk football legend? And better yet, what can you learn from a sports reporter’s nonchalant handling of his overt flirtation?
Well, obviously, I’m 100% with you in agreeing there’s a WHOLE LOT you can learn NOT to do.
BUT…there’s also one VERY KEY principle at play there that is a hidden pearl of wisdom. And that’s what I want to key in on.
Simply put, if flirting is BUILT IN TO YOUR PERSONALITY as part of your LIFESTYLE, then women know better than to assume their potential “rejection” wields any real power.
Consider that statement for a moment, because it’s a pretty heavy one.
Essentially, if your HABIT is to banter with women and show attraction freely, then it’s hard for a woman to REALLY know FOR SURE how meaningful your interest is at first, isn’t it?
And this keeps YOU in control of your interactions with women, and acts as a very real buffer against having to deal with “rejection”.
But most guys have made flirting an EXCEPTIONAL BEHAVIOR rather than a LIFESTYLE HABIT, and therefore they drain themselves of masculine leadership power every time they interact with a woman.
Let me explain how this works against us and why it matters.
If you, like most guys, tiptoe through life worried about “offending” women by showing any interest in them, then you are essentially setting yourself up to be a walking self-fulfilling prophecy.
That is to say, if it’s UNUSUAL for you to ever show interest in a woman, whenever you ACTUALLY DO SO it will come off as a rather serious deal…for BOTH you AND the woman.
You will have had to gather yourself, and your words, and pull it all together for the “big moment”.
What does this do? Naturally, it puts the woman in TOTAL CONTROL of the situation, and you literally at her mercy.
She may be thinking, “Oh wow…this guy REALLY likes me. I’ve got to come up with a serious response here.”
And indeed, that’s where you will have LED in this scenario. You’re left hanging, waiting to see how she reacts to you.
Granted, she might give you a favorable response-or she may not. But the fact remains the same: Most guys treat flirting as DEAD SERIOUS stuff, and this puts women in the “hot seat” every time.
Ironically, she’s IN CHARGE, and that’s NOT where she WANTS to be in these situations.
Contrast such a scenario with Broadway Joe’s example above. Even in the context of a major television blunder in the making, you could sort of tell by Suzy Kolber’s reaction that she was giving him a “free pass” of sorts.
Granted, she’s a pro when it comes to broadcasting, so she can think pretty quickly on her feet.
But as the conversation was happening, you could almost FEEL her imagining the phrase, “Yeah, sure Joe. I bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that.” And my guess is about 75% of the viewing audience was thinking the exact same thing.
And rightly so. Because indeed he DOES “tell all the girls that”.
Now I’m NOT going to tell you to “go and do like Joe Namath” insofar as getting drunk and saying things on TV that require apologies later. And I’m not even going to suggest such “direct game” as walking up to random women and telling them you want to kiss them, necessarily.
In fact, for real-world purposes think of “Lifestyle Flirting” more in terms of fun, playful banter.
But what I AM going to do is ask you to consider the amazing message conveyed when a woman utters the magic phrase: “I bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that”.
Do you think for a second Namath gives a rat’s tailsection whether or not Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you think he has already made her his girlfriend in his mind? Married her? Made babies with her?
That series of rapid-fire questions got more ridiculous as it progressed, huh?
Simply put, if you can become a man who is COMFORTABLE with flirting as a LIFESTYLE, then rejection is OFF THE TABLE.
Instead of giving away unconditional power to women, your casual-even NON-SELECTIVE-attitude toward interacting with MOTOS (members of the opposite sex) puts YOU back in control.
As such, women are left at a mysterious loss as to whether you REALLY would “select” her if given the chance or not.
You are seen as a guy who appreciates ALL great women, therefore you exhibit ZERO desperation or fear of loss.
When you can view flirting, or even interaction with women of ANY sort, in such a light it CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Instead of singling out women for flirting, if you can free yourself up to playfully banter with MOST women wherever you go you’ll sort of hit a “critical mass” before you know it.
And it’s wild when you start seeing the effects of this “Lifestyle Flirting” manifest themselves.
Instead of women feeling SINGLED OUT when you flirt with them, they’ll feel LEFT OUT when you DO NOT.
That’s right…the women you flirt with will no longer be on the “hot seat”. Instead, the women you DON’T will want in.
Again, a caveat: We’re not necessarily talking about quite as overt an approach as Broadway Joe’s example. All you do here is simply begin conversations and interact in a fun way.
And I’m not an unreasonable guy. I can’t expect you to “flip a switch” and make this lifestyle change overnight.
But I am going to challenge you to stretch beyond your comfort zone the next time you are in a social situation where you have the ability to meet new women, and feel FREE to interact with any or even all of them-now realizing that the MORE women you enjoy interacting, the LESS you telegraph “pre-qualification” to any one of them.
Try it…and be amazed.
And my guess is that you’re likely not going to want to stop there.