Husband: In addition to my wife’s position, staying together will mean studying each other which is sacrosanct. Today, separation from each other easily separate homes and families. What helped us then was involvement of God in our relationship – with a solid foundation premised on the Word of God. For couples, it is important to spend the first three to five years together before going up and down. This will help in building trust and effective management of homes.
When children started coming, was daddy there to babysit them at all?
Husband: Raising our children has always been joint efforts even though their mother played a larger part. That was because I was in my busiest time as a minister. I was a traveling missionary. In fact, two of our children were born while I was away. But when daddy is around, I play a lot with them and we all grew together. While she was babysitting them, I was offering spiritual and physical support.
What word do you have for bachelors?
Husband: Bachelors should put God first in their attempt to make it in life. They should be close to God. They should not get married due to societal pressure because marriage is designed to be permanent. They should be productively engaged before getting married. They should seek the face of God when it is time to have a partner.
What word do you have for spinsters?
Wife: Well, every woman wants a happy home. To have a happy home, we need to know what we want from the onset and pray to God to guide us aright. Young girls should not be carried away by their beauty and things of the world. They should grow not to be dependent. Today’s world is on the fast lane and ladies have to be wise in the Lord. Pray hard before you say yes to that man. Avoid comparison in any form. Be contented. Don’t just go and marry because all your friends had. Don’t forget, there is appointed time for all of us. Once you are in God, you will not miss what belong to you because He will show you.
What word of advice do you have for those who are planning to divorce?
Wife: Divorce is not the solution to many challenges in marriage because there is no perfect marriage anywhere. 98 percent of children that have problem today are those from separated homes. For us and our children to have a good future, it is better for us to stay together. When we stay together, with the help of God, we will be able to bring them up in the fear of the Lord and when they grow up, they will not depart from those trainings they may have undergone under us.
My advice for this generation especially mothers is that they should bear with their husbands. Our foremothers like Sarah, Elizabeth and others in the Bible also passed through their own thick and thin but they were able to scale through. We must be willing to give all it takes to make our homes stand. Communication is very important. 25 percent is verbal while 75 percent is non verbal. The non-verbal is what can affect the home. So, husband and wife should develop a robust communication at all times. This will help them address issues as they show up. They should not allow technology to come in-between them. Husband holding his phone, wife watching movies in the same house will create communication gap if not well managed. It is not good at all to postpone issues. Issues should be addressed as they come so they can move on. We should not forget that our children and society are watching and learning from us.
Husband: Young couples should fear and love God in all they do. God is the originator of homes. If there is any problem, they should go back to God and not the third party as such. There is no smooth home without its own problem except if we want to deceive ourselves. Couples should pray together, talk together and share their daily experiences together. If at all they want to talk somebody about their home, that should be God and they may do that through their spiritual leaders. If I fail in my home as a pastor, I don’t have a ministry because home is the nuclear society.